20100823

darkness is just fine

Well well well. I don't really know what's going on with me these days. Suddenly I am so into horror, gore, serial killer films, even science fiction but always dark stories about distopic steampunk societies, and it's more than just a dark mood, I feel and I understand the darkness of living, even if it's temporary (please). I'm not fucking having the time of my life, actually I'm kind of living this distopic reality of my own dream. Everything and everyone seems empty, meaningless, sad and senseless to me, and this time there's nothing to do with comunication stuff or whatever. So I guess I'm just probably transporting my own personal situation on movies and music. Like this one right below, I love it and I really wanna be a part of it. I wish I were there with those freaky monsters and surrounded by that amazing badalamenti's melody. I bet mr. Krank would have kidnapped me the first, cause I'm such a dreams machine man...

20100817

you don't know what love is



as many other lovers, he's the result of having had a self destructive behaviour. well, thanks chet. I'm tired of living in an ordinary world, having ordinary relationships and suffering gratuitous pain. I feel I was born to talk to all of you about love and beauty. I'm not a toy, I'm not a rat, I'm not even a diamond, I'm just a human being. And so you are. Let's be coherent with that, let's stop acting like consumer objects. Stop taking someone from the interest to throw it away when it's not useful anymore. I thought I couldn't deal with that, but I realised there's no option. We have to assume this reality and make a change. Here I go.


20100805

libère ta perception

walking around the other day i could read this on a wall "libère ta perception". soon afterwards i found myself being reanimated by my friend gisela who said during her speech "debes liberar tu percepción". I took a look at her and said -god, this must be some kind of sign". I've been through a lot lately, it's true. i've built my personality and i still do, and I realised there will be more pain in my life if i don't respect my instincts a bit more. i mean, i love my life and i love the way every single thing has changed me but now it's time to take control about what might come in and what must be forbidden. My third eye is gonna help me out. Apart from this i'm having some sort of paranoid thoughts i guess because of this little cold i got in the middle of the summer which is making me see what's worth figthing for. I gotta be more pragmatic and ask myself: what can i do to be happy? the answer turns easily out to be the path i've already started.